Just some hot dudes wearing cool clothes, idk.
Look, this year has been nuts I'm using this newsletter to be a little h*rny.
Here’s The Thing is an advice column/newsletter where I mostly beg people to either stop dating someone or to ask their crush out. Or I talk about weird things that came to my mind that no one is paying me to write about. I can never decide if I should capitalize the “the” in Here’s The Thing or not; apologies on lack of consistency.
I was—am—supposed to write a newsletter this week because I, of all people, decided that was a thing I should do. But I’m overwhelmed with the shit I’m supposed to do right now (I’m also somewhat unclear about what I’m supposed to be doing because being unemployed in a pandemic is like that??).
So instead of doing writing my usual newsletter with advice I’m going to write something short and sweet and foolish. Welcome.
Let me start by saying that I would pay $49 to some hypothetical non-extant entity for for cis straight men who can afford to to start dressing better. It would be a salve to me personally if they not just cared a little more about their appearance, but also had taste and had interest in having taste.
Of course, many many many men do already. And as alluded to above, the concept of fashion is an often ridiculous and luxurious thing designed for and often by rich people. So this is mostly a little joke; I don’t actually expect anyone to dress better or spend money on something they don’t’ want to or can’t afford.
I’m just saying that well dressed men are just so delightful. I tweeted about this, but the other day I was driving along near my house and I looked over vaguely at the cafe I used to go to before shit (a virus) hit the fan (our immune systems) and sitting outside was an impeccably dressed man. So well dressed that I almost crashed my car a little. Everyone on the internet had a spot of fun with it, jolly good for them and all that. But I was serious! He was wearing a hat!!!! In 2021! A hat! His outfit was this monochromatic look the color of a sunset. He was gorgeous. He was wearing silk, I think, although it was hard to tell as I was zipping my little car around, trying not to actually crash. And I will say, no one would have blamed me for crashing. In fact, I like to think that he would have looked up from his double espresso or some other chic drink and he would have hurried suavely into the street to help me, if I had crashed.
Well, I of course didn’t crash which feels a little foolish because the man deserved to know how great he looked. For perhaps the first time in my life, I was tempted to yell out my window— “Your outfit is divine!”—but that’s not an appropriate way to communicate, is it? (Ahem, men).
So I have done the mature thing and just thought about this man and his lovely outfit and other men and their lovely outfits and now I will share some below so we can all have a lovely Monday. Cheers, bitch!
One of my big inspirations for this year—a vibe I hope men embrace—is the 70s. I’m hoping for interesting pants silhouettes and browns and ochres and silk shirts deeply unbuttoned to show off gold chains. I’m hoping that someone in the NBA dares to show up in short shorts and change the league for the better. I want to see bolo ties and fabulous hair.
Let’s start with one of the most well dressed men of all time: Darondo. His song “Didn’t I” is unreal. Simply one of the best songs on earth. And the man could D-R-E-S-S.
THOSE RINGS!!! Can you believe it! I can’t! Hot hot hot!
Harry Style is the undisputed 70s Hottie Babe of the Current Moment, and so I think we must give him his due. But especially this hunky leather look from one of the awards shows idk I’m too lazy to google and it literally doesn’t matter at all. The Grammy’s I think but again, idk.
One thing Harry understands is silhouettes. He is one of the few modern people not just resting on his hot laurels. Yes, being conventionally balls-ass-hot does like 87% of the work for him—I will give anyone that any day—but LORD does he work for the last 13%.
GOOD FOR HIM!
While I’m already in horny mode, I might as well mention the hottie hottie of this specific month, Milo Ventimiglia, who brought to us this:
The man knows what he is meant to be doing. And he’s masked up over the nose and mouth! Do you know how few celebrities are still masking? Like two. Fabulous, darling! No notes!
Walter “Clyde” Frazier is an icon of fashion. He’s bold—just look at his nickname “Clyde” which is not the normal nickname for Walt. Inspired! (The nickname came from his wearing a fedora like Warren Beatty in Bonnie & Clyde, which reminds me that Warren Beatty was fucking smokin’ hot in the 70s. My boyfriend once tried to get me to watch a super boring movie from the 70s and it had Warren Beatty in it and I was like, “Yes, I love and appreciate cinema.”)
Anyway, Clyde Frazier is perhaps the best dressed man ever in the NBA. I feel like god gave Knicks fans a break with Clyde Frazier. (He was also an excellent player, but that’s not the point of this article).
DO YOU SEE THE PHOTO!!! The basketball! The fur coat! THE PANTS!! THE JEWELRY! This is the vibe I am going for throughout all of 2021 and some people will say, “Sophia, what about the weather?” I DONT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT THE WEATHER!! I’M WEARING OUTFITS THIS YEAR*
*Please, if you see me in July of this year (especially in my apartment which does not have air conditioning) don’t remind me that I said this.
I’m going to do a photoshoot just like this with a basketball. I can’t handle how cool this looks!
Ok, it’s time for me to say something controversial: young John Travolta was a fucking hunk! I know he’s a scientologist and problematic and whatever. I don’t have time to explain, but I’m still putting some looks of his on this list. Now, granted, some of his style (perhaps all of it) is from costumers and stylists—as, I’m sure, is true for many of the above men. SUE ME!
The man loved velvet! Just look!!! 👇
And he wasn’t above absolutely rocking a turtleneck!
This one is from some “official John Travolta postcards” although I have no idea what the hell that even means.
Anyway! That’s been a few guys wearing fun outfits because my brain is broken and I don’t have more thoughts right now!!!!!!!! Next week I’ll do advice again probably unless my brain is still applesauce!
You can submit your own question—or a photo of a hot guy—by emailing me at email@example.com