I have started tanning in my backyard, to speed up death if dermatologists are to be trusted (and they are). Not to worry, I put sunscreen on the important bits, the ones that age. I bought a tanning chair specifically for lying my body out in the sun like a ball of dough in an oven. The tanning chair even has—and this is grotesque, I know—a hole for your face so that when you flip over on your stomach, which I am wont to do every 15 minutes, you can lie flat. It cost me the best $78 of my life, that chair.
Omg no it won't fall even if you hear creaking and see swaying- these fuckers survive cat 5 hurricanes. and i have borne witness to fronds falling on ppl and they were bonked on the head and irritated but fine (they kind of drag to the ground, aren't very aerodynamic and the base is too wide to impale u- the other end is too bendy. Also is this whole post just some dick joke metaphor that I'm taking literally??). BUT your landlord needs to get a coconut person to come harvest those coconuts!! They actually are dangerous when they fall- do Not lay under them. Good luck!!
Omg no it won't fall even if you hear creaking and see swaying- these fuckers survive cat 5 hurricanes. and i have borne witness to fronds falling on ppl and they were bonked on the head and irritated but fine (they kind of drag to the ground, aren't very aerodynamic and the base is too wide to impale u- the other end is too bendy. Also is this whole post just some dick joke metaphor that I'm taking literally??). BUT your landlord needs to get a coconut person to come harvest those coconuts!! They actually are dangerous when they fall- do Not lay under them. Good luck!!